The First Performance!

Ahh, my first dance performance. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Well, I mean it was actually two days ago.

But I remember it like it was yesterday…

Let the masturbatory self interviewing session commence!




What sort of performance was it?

It was a classical ballet piece choreographed by a local dance maven. The theme was water. I became the water.

Why did you choose to be in this production?

It was for charity, so I figured if I fell on my face or ran into one of the other dancers on stage that the Universe or the Cosmic Muffin or whatever would forgive me at the Ultimate Time of Reckoning.

What was the hardest part about performing the piece?

All of the parts that didn’t involve just wearing the pretty skirt…like learning the choreography, remembering where the venue was, etc.

What did you like most about the experience?

It gave me the motivation learn to pas de chat without looking like a deranged leprechaun.

Would you like to be in another dance production?

I spent three months of my life rehearsing to learn a 4:06 piece that I will perform once. Of course I will do it again.

What was it like to be one of the less experienced dancers learning the piece?

It was like getting a learner’s permit at 40 when everyone else at the DMV is 15. Mildly humiliating and then TOTALLY FUCKING WORTH IT.

What was your favorite part of performing?

Proving to myself that I could do it, I guess. And the not falling down or dying part was also a plus.

What was your motivation for trying to perform?

I figured after a year of telling people I was taking ballet, and hearing the nagging demands of “Do some ballet!” and “When’s your recital??” I figured this meant that I should attempt to learn a complete piece. I mean, I tried to show everyone my badass center pliés with full port de bras and they were all…”Is that Tai Chi or some shit?”


For realz tho…

All of my adult beginners, of all stripes–especially ballerinas–just get up there and do it. When I started this process I wasn’t able to remember the tendu combinations in class, let alone 4 minutes of choreo. I didn’t know how to do about 25% of the technique of the piece correctly. Performing for people can really push you to learn quickly and try new things.

But it will not help you remember tendu combos. ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO TENDU EN CROIX!


One thought on “The First Performance!

  1. Congrats! It is SO easy to look like a “deranged leprechaun” when doing a pas de chat.. and you had me laughing on that one because that’s the perfect description of how it looks until you get it!

    Liked by 1 person

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